The invisible people in your labor room...

Some families want allll the people in the room when they're giving birth, it's a community event! And some families want to keep a more intimate environment with just their partner present. Both are completely fine and the right of the birthing family to decide. NO one else should decide this for them. But there's something no one is talking about when it comes to the idea of inviting others into the birth space...

Everyone contributes SOMEthing. The vibe in the room can drastically change when Aunt Martha walks in, just because it's Aunt Martha. The level of calm, anxiety, nerves, etc. can all shift depending on who is in the room.

But I'm not just talking about the people physically present.

I'm talking about the family text thread that your partner updated when labor started that's now blowing up your phone because everyone wants to know what's going on. I'm talking about the people who are squatting in the hospital lobby so they feel better, not realizing that they're putting pressure on you and your partner to keep them updated. OR that they're putting you on guard, worried that they could come in at any minute.

They may not be IN the room, but they're taking you OUT of the room.

Everyone contributes something. Think through the people you invite into your experience and how you want to handle those relationships and their involvement in your process. Have tough conversations while you're pregnant and set the expectation so that no on is guessing or all up in your business when you don't want them to be.

Create boundaries. Protect your peace. However you want that to look.

And if you don't want them "in your space" or "part of your experience" then don't even tell them you're in labor! If Aunt Martha is mad that she wasn't invited to the party, she can get over it. And if she doesn't, bummer for her!