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empoweringyoudoula

Confession: I struggle with hoarding.

And I don't mean that I hoard things, trust me, I'm the first one to chuck things straight in the trash, which has been a point of contention in my house from time to time. (Sorry, loves.) What I really mean is that I struggle sometimes seeing posts or TikToks about people having these gigantic stashes of breastmilk in their freezers. Keeping thousands and thousands of ounces of breastmilk with no plan for how to use it.


Now, I know this can be a triggering topic for some, and if this is you, there's no shame here. No matter where you land on this topic. If you need to stop reading, I totally get it and take zero offense. If you have a freezer stash, no shame. If you are an under supplier, no shame. If you formula feed, no shame. If you combo feed, exclusively pump, triple-feed, nurse exclusively, whatEVER, no shame. Let's establish that right now before reading on. You good?


Breastfed babies take an average of 19-30 oz per day (depending on the age of your baby and other factors). The average output for exclusively pumpers is between 2-4 oz every 2-3 hours. Any amount over and above what your baby eats, is oversupply. You don't need to be pumping more than that to be successful at breastfeeding your baby. You just don't.


There are reasons that someone might have a freezer stash that make sense to me, big or small. 1). You are a working parent, and you need to stay ahead of the feeding game to make sure your baby has milk while they're away from you. 2). You want to shorten your length of time breastfeeding and plan to use all frozen milk as a way of weaning early. 3). You have a scarcity mindset and are afraid of not having enough for your baby. If #3 is you, I get it. And I'd encourage you to talk to a lactation counselor or therapist to work through some of this because I'd also be willing to bet, this isn't the only way you struggle with that fear-based mindset. (If you need resources, I gotchu, send me a message).


It is true that most people will produce a full milk supply for their babies however, there is a small percentage that won't or who have PIM (perceived insufficient milk). Hear me when I say, if you have a medical condition, are on certain medications, had a hemorrhage, traumatic birth, NICU stay or any other circumstances leading to low supply, no milk supply, or zero desire to breastfeed, YOU. DID. NOT. FAIL. Your milk supply is not a barometer for how good of a parent you are. Ok? If you need to read that again, by all means. Like I've said before, there is no shame in feeding your baby, no matter how you choose to feed them.


Now, if you're an over-supplier and haven't really thought through a plan for how to use your stash, let me give you some ideas...

  • Give it away.

There are Facebook groups and milk sharing sites (Human Milk for Human Babies, Metro Detroit Milk Donations FREE) where you can connect with other families as a donor (or receiver) and exchange breastmilk for pump parts, diapers, wipes or storage bags. Most families are willing to drive to pick-up your milk and will gladly provide a token of appreciation in exchange. If you're passionate about helping others in your local community, this is the way to go.

  • Send it to a milk bank.

Did you know, there are only 30 milk banks in the US? Last I checked, we had 50 states sooooo....hmm. There's an access problem. If you're here in Michigan, Bronson Mother's Milk Bank in Kalamazoo is the only milk bank in the state. Donating with Bronson is pretty simple, even if you live miles and miles away (like me, in Metro Detroit). You have to go through a series of questions and get blood work done every 3 months. They ship you the coolers and show you how to pack it and ship it. Easy peasy. All expenses (shipping, supplies, bloodwork, etc.) are covered by Bronson and they're super helpful and available if you ever have questions. Your milk will be given to babies in the NICU, others with medical conditions and some of it is even shipped to Arkansas, a state with no milk bank. If you need help finding a milk bank closest to you, click here.

  • Make stuff.

Just like any other kind of milk, you can make stuff with it. Put it in food, smoothies, soaps, lotions, whatever. I've also seen people use their expired milk for milk baths for their babies which is highly beneficial. You can even give it to your older children to help boost their immune systems during cold/flu season. I've hidden it in my toddler's smoothie before (sneaky, sneaky). Check out this article by PubMed for more info on breastmilk's long-lasting active immunity.


Maybe I struggle with those who gloat and hoard because I know there are others who struggle to produce, and it's hard for me to imagine having all of that liquid gold with no plan on how to use it. Or because I know there are families who don't have access to breastmilk for their babies. Or because I want people to trust their bodies to do what it's designed to do to provide for their offspring. Or because I want you to live in freedom from fear and that scarcity mindset. Or because I find value helping others thrive. Or because I want YOU to feel empowered in your journey. I don't know.


If you have thoughts or suggestions or things to add, leave it in the comments. All I ask is that you show kindness and respect. I put several links in this post so feel free to click through for more information. Or message me anytime. I'm here, in this no-shame space, for you.


Peace to ya,

-Doula Nicole

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